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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in Reality Deviation's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, April 12th, 2005
9:41 pm
Is this group really that bored?

Weren't we supposed to be doing something here?

Did we find something else to do and decide it was better?

I think that's probably my excuse. What's yours?
Monday, December 29th, 2003
2:08 pm
X-Posted to My journal
How many times have you asked yourself this question:

"What am I going to do with the rest of my life?"

Isn't this self defeating? I mean, it projects mostly the thought of self defeatism. To me, it translates to "Well, I midaswell as do something worthwhile and entertaining before I die."

What sort of rubbish is that? I mean, who just sits around and waits to fill the void of life until it ends? Is it some mystical journey which never gets to leave the car port?

To ask such a thing is abit fool-hardy in all retrospect. "What am I going to do with the rest of my life?"

I don't know, but in all honesty does anyone else? If not, then why constantly search for an answer instead of letting it possibly find you through a minimal amount of input.

Does anyone whom asks themselves that question ever truely figure it out? Or is it "Well, I could do that, yes, that sounds rather nice." when it's either beneath them or beyond them?

I don't think so. Not at all.

I believe that question gives the meaning to someones life. That question could be what they're going to be doing for the rest of their lives. Searching for that answer. But what relative possibilities are offered in finding it? Who can find the answer to a question so many have asked themsleves so many times over and over.

Could the people who search for that answer be the modern day shamans? Looking for an answer to the greater goals of mankind through spritual vindication and providing an answer loosely based on the grounds of one humans enjoyment?

Could these people just be lazy? Searching for something thats never become apparent to anyone else yet being arrogant enough to believe they can come one step closer to the goal of all human beings over the coarse of history?

There must be a medium here. We all wonder what it, our lives, is for. Why am I here? Simply to be and make adjustments? Should we toil and through ourselves at greater and greater adversity's like Nietzsche's "Ubermensch"? Should we all build something grand and great as a legacy as Kant says we were born to do?

I don't think there is a suitable tangible answer to the question of "What should I do with the rest of my life?". I know for my personal tastes I never like to leave a prpject unfinished, and who knows how long I am going to live. I think the only plausable answer to this question is "Enjoy what you got left."

But hey, thats just a idiosyncratic fanboy of the universe. Oh, and By the way, Hello.

Current Mood: amused
Monday, December 8th, 2003
7:33 am
We will not be healthy until we start our actions with consideration for others.

We live in an incredibly ego-centric world, and I believe that the me-focus of society and individuals contributes to unhappiness.

Spiritual translation: There is a bit of divine nature in every creature, and object in the universe. Human beings shut themselves off from the divine by focusing on the "I" instead of the "we". Self acknowledgement is the key to existance, but the obsession with self is the brick wall that alienates human beings from the rest of the natural world.

The obsession with being the best, looking out for oneself, making sure that one's opinions are heard despite their effect on the beings surrounding oneself is what creates that which makes us unhappy.

Realization of self is key, however to gain enlightenment, one must forget the "I" and feel their existance as part of a greater whole, with full knowledge that their actions directly affect the other sparks in the chain.

Individuality is key to life. However, once one is strongly aware of their personal individuality, the next step is to forget it. The step after that is to combine the two, and work from an awareness of both self and not-self. Careless actions and words create ripples that in turn create unhappiness.
Friday, June 13th, 2003
7:03 am
What does 'Magik' mean?
Can you define it?
Do you experience it in 'mystical' ways? (don't know or care how it works, as long as it works)
Do you experience it in 'scientific' ways? (Every action has a logical reaction, each link in the cause and effect chain accounted for)
Did you always experience it that way, or did it seem different?
If it seemed different, how?
Have you actively produced/participated in/been the subject of/observed Magik recently?
What was it?

For the most part I try to avoid asking people these questions when I can't look into their eyes. I've gotten some really thought provoking answers, and also some really silly ones. I'd like for anyone to try to answer them all, but don't let that stop you from only answering one if it appeals to you to do so.
Monday, April 7th, 2003
6:07 am
I did not have one impossible idea today.

how depressing.
Sunday, March 9th, 2003
1:37 pm
Charmed Life Merits
I've come to suspect that while I've had some 'down' times... I believe I have a charmed life merit.

Nothing HEINOUS has happened to me. And no matter what I do, the decisions I make lead to ok things or learning experiences.

My girlfriend is wonderful.. my job is good...

There are some who would take those signs to mean that they are beloved of the cosmos more than others or they are destined for something spectacular and everyone else in their lives are simply there to facilitate their existance...

I hate that.

The cosmos loves you as much as it loves me. You are not the dragon reborn. Nor am I. We all are what we are. Equally important in the mesh of things.

Now... use your powers and go DO it. FIX the shit that's broken. It can only happen one soul at a time.


Current Mood: calm
Saturday, March 8th, 2003
3:51 am
I've been a bad boy. At least I realize it. That's a first step towards recovery I guess.

I've been really bad about calling foul.. or writing reality checks where they weren't needed or wanted. You know?
I became a little too concerned with my search for objective truth, and started enforcing my 'objective truth' on others. Shame on me.
I think now I'll be a little more careful about leaving realities the way that I find them, or at least pausing to think before I act... that's gonna suck. At any rate, there is such thing as a healthy delusion. I believe its okay to support them where you find them. If anyone has thoughts in-support-of/to-the-contrary please share.

And now I find myself knee deep in wishing I was saying "That changes everything!" to myself. God, its been too long. Gotta get out of this mental rut.
Tuesday, March 4th, 2003
4:40 pm
Show me something new, universe!

It seems like every time someone comes up to me nowadays and says "I've figured something out!" its something I've known for years. This especially becomes an issue when its someone else who has known it for years, and has figured this one thing out about a ka-jillion times, and told me about it each time.

Loops and circuits that eat their tails are going to be the death of me. I feel like the wheel of the wheelbarrow, being directed down the same path, through the same rut over and over again. Use me, use me, don't abuse me. Take me somewhere new, universe...show me something different.

Current Mood: hopeful
Sunday, February 16th, 2003
8:55 pm
When I saw my horizon realm slide down the slippery shower drain I had no fear.
I had no fear because I knew that even though THIS place was gone, there would be other places. Other places just as good. I liked to take a lot of credit for making something beautiful, (but fucked up, mind you) but knew that it couldn't have been all me. That this thing must surely happen, and I was merely *being* in the place that it just happened to happen to.

that was delusional.

and I'm sorry, cuz I don't think I should use this as a bitch forum, BUT
That God shaped hole is really eating at my brain tonight.. Not MY GSHole, but
other people's.
All of humanity becomes an obnoxious roomate that brushes their teeth too loudly, replaces the toilet paper upside-down. That desperate longing for attention and credit and blame and look at me, look at me, look at me!! I almost never want to look up again.
I'm sure I'm guilty of this a lot.
I'm sure that my craving for attention borders on the addiction of a crack whore.
Yet for some reason, I'm looking around my alley... I'm looking into the faces of the people in *my* gutter, and thinking, "God.. you look like SHITE."

Current Mood: pissed off
Wednesday, February 12th, 2003
5:20 pm
Reality Warped
If any of your blog friends should be here.. feel free to 'splain and get them to join.

2:11 pm
Its been a really long time since I've sat in a room with the "awakened". To make a long story short, Tapping into an old stomping ground, Meeting up with an old partner (tapping into that), Eating Jalapeno Nachos and a Bacon Cheeseburger, Tapping into an old pipe in a new haze, and meeting Her new boyfriend... well, its not to be unexpected. But it *did* make me throw up.

Somewhere along the line I forgot to slow my roll.

Precognition and Telepathy holding... loss of major motor skills and capacity for speech. Its a fair trade.
Tuesday, February 11th, 2003
8:38 pm
Reality Deviation 1
Ok.. so I've decided to create a space that I can discuss things that I probably shouldn't show to the masses.

I was emailed by my father today and he was worried about the possibility of terrorism happening so close to where I live.

The will of the masses will bring it about surely. I think there is some deep seeded desire to see something.. anything happen. Good bad or indifferent. Surely then the will of the masses will be heard. I personally vote that NOTHING AT ALL happen. NO terror. No war... but it seems I am outvoted at least on the second issue.

I suspect things will occur as they have to occur to take us toward our eventual conclusion but I think that we are working against ourselves in our grand ascension. Bombs and high-tech surveilance of bad guys is not moving us toward elysium.

My friend Paul I used to work with invisioned an ascension of humanity. He spoke of it openly.. in the midst of a technocracy den. I loved that man.

I wonder if it's still on its way.


Current Mood: contemplative
8:28 pm
Testing.. one.. two.. three.
Oh look. It works. Fascinating.
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